Yesterday was the day for candy, card, and flower shops. Today is the day for lovers. Yesterday the retailers made their money. Today marriage partners make their marriages.
Call me fussy. Call me a curmudgeon. Call me a spoil sport. I just don’t like being told by business and industry when is the best time to tell my wife I love her. And frankly, showing up with a dozen roses, a card that someone else wrote, and a box of chocolates that my kids will probably eat, isn’t all that special anyway — especially if my actions the rest of the year demonstrate that I love myself more than I love her.
So I don’t always go out of my way to celebrate Valentine’s Day on February 14. I do go out of my way to attempt to celebrate my love for my wife every day of the year. I make it my aim to practice biblical, God-honoring love every day. Here are some things I (and we) have made a priority for loving each other:
- Let the little stuff go. When two people come together there are always trivial matters that potentially may provide minor irritations. We chose, because we love each other, to overlook those things (1 Pt. 4:8).
- We practice forgiveness every day. And forgiveness means not holding the past against someone. We regularly say the words “Will you forgive me?” and “I forgive you.” And while we may not forget the incident in question (though we do forget the great majority of them), we absolutely will not ever hold it against each other again. One writer says it this way, “forgiveness is allowing the door to be closed to the past.”
- We talk. One of the few “rules” we have had in our marriage is “We don’t leave the house angry.” If some issue erupts into discord and tension we talk about it and resolve it as soon as possible (Eph. 4:26b) so that anger and its friend bitterness do not have an opportunity to take root in our hearts (1 Pt. 3:7b).
- We are intentional about enjoying each other. We take time to cultivate the things that stimulate our friendship and passion for each other (Eccl. 9:9; one of my all-time favorite marriage verses). After all, the life we share together is one of God’s rewards to us.
These principles may not be as initially impressive as a dozen long-stem roses wrapped in baby’s breath and greenery, or a two-pound selection of Godiva’s best chocolates. But they are some of the attributes that will make every day a Valentine’s Day.
It is the way that we have learned to apply a Biblical definition of love to our marriage — “Love is the commitment of my will and affections to your needs and best interests regardless of the cost to me.” [Adapted from Tim Kimmel, Little House on the Freeway.]
Words of Grace 