As I mentioned in my sermon yesterday, it is far more important why we pray than what we pray. In general, our attitude in prayer is more critical than the mechanics of our prayer.
Yet there are also some “mechanical” things we can do to help our prayer life — a consideration of time, location, duration, and style for instance. Paying attention to these items won’t necessarily make us effective or spiritual in our praying, but they can be tools that assist us to God-honoring praying.
Have a scheduled time of prayer but don’t let the schedule keep you from praying spontaneously. And the corollary to that obviously is, pray spontaneously, but don’t let the spontaneity rob you of the discipline of regular praying. That is, cultivate the habit and discipline of a regular time of prayer (same time and place each day) where you are praying consistently through Scripture and lists (people, church, ministries, missionaries…). There is value to keeping regular appointments with God and spending time in dependent fellowship with Him. And there is also value in cultivating the habit of praying “without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17) — always being ready to pray throughout the day. So as thoughts and people come to mind, they become quick items of prayer. As conversations are had, they are concluded with prayer (I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone refuse me when I’ve said, “may I pray with you?”). Never resist the urge to pray. As an aside, one of my regular prayers in private is that the Lord would prepare me to pray effectively, biblically, and with encouragement in my spontaneous prayers throughout the day.
Pray alone and pray publicly. Effectiveness in public prayer is cultivated in private prayer. We need the fellowship and intimacy of time alone with God. We need time for private and intimate reflection before Him. We need opportunity to voice desires and requests that are fitting for His ears alone. We need to express our own dependence on Him in daily private reflection. And we need the fellowship and intimacy that develops with other believers because of time spent praying with them. There are few things that will cultivate the kinship of believers like prayer.
Pray because you have a need and pray because you “don’t” have a need. In other words, pray because you have an awareness of a particular need and pray when you don’t have a particular awareness because you know you are needy and because you just love being in the presence of God. Our prayers should reflect a balance between dependent need (“I genuinely need something”) and joyful fellowship (“I just want to be with You”).
Pray long and short. Just as you have quick phone calls and texts to your spouse and you also have long evenings and trips together, so we have both brief and extended periods of fellowship with the Lord. Both kinds of prayers affirm our daily, moment-by-moment dependence on Him.
Prayer is our conversation with God in which we demonstrate our worship of and dependence on Him. So keep lists and use forms and structures and have regular times and be spontaneous. And in every prayer, let the attitude of your reliance on Him and love for Him pervade that communion.
Here are also some resources I have found particularly helpful in stimulating my own prayer life:
- “Be Devoted to Prayer” — this sermon by John Piper is one of the most helpful sermons on the practices of prayer I’ve ever heard.
- D. A. Carson’s book A Call to Spiritual Reformation is an examination of Paul’s prayers in his letters. The introductory chapter alone is worth the price of the book.
- Jonathan Edwards, “The Most High a Prayer-Hearing God.” It’s Jonathan Edwards. Of course it’s helpful.
- Heavenward — a blog by Scotty Smith. All the posts are prayers, modeling how authentic praying sounds.
- John Piper, When I Don’t Desire God (free download) — the chapters on prayer are particularly helpful (as is the chapter on the same subject in Desiring God).
- Valley of Vision is a collection of (mostly) Puritan prayers that will help you think biblically as you pray. I keep this volume on my desk and use it often.
- Don Whitney has published several items to help our praying, including his blog, Biblical Spirituality, and numerous books, including Simplify Your Spiritual Life and Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life.
UPDATE:
I neglected to include three volumes by Andrew Case: Water of the Word: Intercession for Her, Prayers of an Excellent Wife, and Setting Their Hope in God: Biblical Intercession for Your Children. These volumes are a series of short prayers for husbands and wives for each other and parents for their children. They are excellent prompts for your prayer life, and they are free as PDF downloads and $0.99 as eBooks.
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