The marriage gene?

I unfolded the front section of my newspaper yesterday to find this headline:  “Men’s genes may be the key to good fit.”

It seems that researchers in Sweden concluded that men with the presence of a particular gene variant (approximately 40% have an extra copy of allele, a variant of a gene that influences brain activity) are more susceptible to “marital discord and divorce.”  Call it the marriage gene.  Or the divorce gene.  (Interestingly, the web version of the same article was headlined more negatively than the print version:  “Study links gene variant in men to marital discord.”)

Or call it the excuse gene.

I am in no position to evaluate the validity of the findings and conclusions of this study.  Whether accurate and good science was practiced I cannot determine.  Nor is it my particular concern.

What is of interest to me is how these findings are used.  The Morning News offered this potential use:  “Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist at Rutgers University who studies romantic love, said a man who knows he has this allele might be able to use the knowledge to ignore tugs of restlessness he might feel in his marriage: ‘You can say, “Oh, it is just my DNA, and I am going to ignore it.”‘”

Fisher may be content that men (women also have this gene, but it apparently plays a larger role in men’s brains, so only men were studied in this research project) will use the knowledge that they have this gene as an inducement to stay in marriage.  I’m not so convinced.

Our culture is saturated with examples to the contrary.  Homosexuality, we are told, is also a biological issue and thus no change should be demanded or expected.  Likewise, alcoholism, obesity, and a variety of other sins are deemed “illness” — and beyond the control or responsibility of the “afflicted” person.

Telling a man (or woman) that he has a biological reason for a wandering eye and unfaithful heart is not an enticement to stay in his marriage, but an excuse to leave it.  And that’s just one more piece of bad news for marriage in our country.

What is more important than this study is the study of Scripture that reveals nothing about a man’s physical DNA, but does reveal accurately his spiritual DNA.  And what it reveals is that while there may be temptations to leave a marriage, the man of God stays in that marriage.  God does not say, “Husbands, love your wives…as long as your DNA allows for it, and she loves you in return, and it is economically and emotionally advantageous for you.”  God says, “Husbands, love your wives.” When it is advantageous and easy, and when it is burdensome and difficult, a husband loves his wife.

What we do not need is one more excuse to leave a marriage.  I am grateful that God has provided us not only a reason to stay, but equipping and power through the gospel and the presence of the Spirit to enable us to stay with our spouses with joy.