Talk to yourself

My children somewhat regularly catch me talking to myself — “what did you say, Dad?”  “Huh?  Oh, nothing.  I’m just talking to myself…”

And even if it is not audible, everyone engages in much self-talk each day.  In fact, the theologian you consult on the most regular basis is almost certainly yourself.  For you listen to your own thoughts, words, and ideas (a.k.a. theology) more than any other person’s theology.  Sometimes that may be a benefit.  More often, that is not to our spiritual progress.

We listen to ourselves about our circumstances and difficulties, our dreams and desires, our wants and lusts, our complaints and maladies.  We listen to our pontifications and self-righteous degradations of others and circumstances.  Instead of listening to ourselves, we need to speak to ourselves.

I thought again of Martyn Lloyd-Jones’ statement in his classic work, Spiritual Depression when I read Pss. 42-43 this morning, pausing to think again on the repeated phrase, “Why are you in despair, O my soul?  And why have you become disturbed within me?  Hope in God, for I shall again praise him…”

…the very first thing we have to learn is what the Psalmist learned — we must learn to take ourselves in hand.  This man was not content just to lie down and commiserate with himself.  He does something about it, he takes himself in hand.  But he does something which is more important still, that is he talks to himself.  This man turns to himself and says:  ‘Why art thou cast down O my soul, why art thou disquieted within me?’  He is talking to himself, he is addressing himself.…

I say that we must talk to ourselves instead of allowing ‘ourselves’ to talk to us!  Do you realize what that means?  I suggest that the main trouble in this whole matter of spiritual in a sense is this, that we allow our self to talk to us instead of talking to our self.  Am I just trying to be deliberately paradoxical?  Far from it.  This is the very essence of wisdom in this matter.  Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself?  Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning.  You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc.  Somebody is talking.  Who is talking to you?  Your self is talking to you.  Now this man’s treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself.  ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul?’  he asks.  His soul had been depressing him, crushing him.  So he stands up and says:  ‘Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you’.  Do you know what I mean?  If you do not, you have had but little experience.

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself.  You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself.  You must say to your soul:  ‘Why art thou cast down’ — what business have you to be disquieted?  You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, say to yourself:  ‘Hope thou in God’ — instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way.  And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do.  Then having done that, end on this note:  defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man:  ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God’.

Both John Piper and C. J. Mahaney have preached very helpful sermons on this same psalm.