If you love your wife like Christ loves you (Eph. 5:25ff), then your marriage will be wonderful, right?
And that is the tension for some men. They believe that the end of loving their wives is that they get what they want — a happy, peaceable marriage. But that’s not the point of the passage. Ephesians 5 is teaching that a man loves his wife like Christ loves the church out of obedience to Christ, out of his love for Christ and desire to please Christ, and as an expression of his worthy walk with Christ (4:1ff). A happy marriage may (and often does) result when a husband loves his wife like Christ loves him. But it’s no guarantee and it’s not the objective.
The objective is to love Christ, and because he loves Christ he loves his wife.
So let’s make the basic premise something different: Loving your wife like Christ loves you does not guarantee that she will respond to your love and that your marriage will be wonderful, but it is one means by which you will find increasing satisfaction in Christ because obedience to Him will yield a joy in your heart that is not dependent on circumstances.