Why does a husband love his wife?
A man might answer that in many ways —
- I love my wife because I can’t resist her — I’m attracted to her…
- I love my wife because I have to love my wife — the Bible commands my love
- I love my wife because it is the way that I lead her
- I love my wife so that she will love me
- I love my wife so that my children will know what it means for a husband to love a wife
- I love my wife because I want to be like Christ — I want to love my wife the way He loves His bride
- I love my wife because I love her…I don’t know, I just love her…
If you are a man and married, why do you love your wife?
As compelling as some of the above reasons are for loving your wife, there is another one that is even better: love your wife because you love Christ.
It is tempting to love our wives for something we receive from them. If we love them we might receive affirmation or reciprocated love or sex or conversation or fun activities. Or if we love them, we might not have problems of conflict or anger and bitterness. But both of these motives are rooted in some form of self-oriented desires. And that’s not love.
Instead, we have been given a simple and clear command from Christ: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also love the church and gave Himself up for her…” (Eph. 5:25). The reason we love our wives is because we want to please the Lord who has given us this privileged command. We do not love our wives because we want something from them. We do not love our wives because we want them to change. We love our wives because we have an intense and abiding love for Christ and we want to please him in all that we do — including the way we love our wives.
So we love our wives from the overflow of our love for Christ. Certainly we want to be known as men who love our wives, but even more we want to be known as men who love Christ. And we love and lead our wives with grace so that we might enjoy the Lord and so that He finds pleasure in us.
Husband, why do you love your wife?