When you are sinned against

You cannot keep people from sinning against you.

You will be treated unjustly.  You will be lied to and gossiped about.  Ungodly accusations will be spoken against you — and said directly to you.  Others will be angry with you — sometimes because they have misunderstood you and sometimes because they understood you.  Sometimes people will take advantage of your kindness and other times some will manipulate circumstances to their advantage and your harm, even knowing that it will cause you harm.  Trust will be broken in marriages and friendships.  And sometimes people will physically harm you with malicious intent.

You cannot keep people from sinning against you.  But you can control your response to those sins against you.

Your flesh will tell you something like, “Pay him back. Respond in kind.  Protect yourself.  Give him what he deserves.…”  But that’s not what the Spirit of God will say.

There are several passages in Scripture that address the topic of how to respond to those who’ve sinned against you.  Consider the words of Jesus:  “I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44; see also the broader context, vv. 38-47).

And Paul discusses the topic in an extended passage (Rom. 12:14-21).  And he also summarizes a godly response in succinct words in 1 Thessalonians 5:15:  “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.”

How should one respond when sinned against?

1. Don’t respond with sinful evil.  That is, even though you have been sinned against, you are not thereby freed to respond with sin.  Your response to unrighteousness against you should be righteousness.
2. Seek what is good for the sinner — and all people.  This is similar to what Jesus says in Mt. 5:44 and Paul in Rom. 12:14 (“bless those who persecute you”). What is ultimately good for the sinner — and all people — is salvation.  So every response to sin against us should indicate our desire for their salvation, entice them to desire salvation, and be conducive to their responding to the offer of salvation.

And if you read the next verses in 1 Thessalonians 5, there are three more commands that could be placed on the one who is sinned against:  rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks (vv. 16-18).  Could it be that the reason we respond to sin against us with our own sin and without seeking the good of the sinner is that we have not learned to be joyful, prayerful, or thankful?

It is obviously difficult to respond to sin against us in these manners (and I understand that some sins are more heinous than others and therefore much more difficult to respond to in these ways).  These instructions are counter-intuitive and against the desires of our flesh.  And that is precisely why our response to sin against us may be the best gauge of our spiritual progress and maturity.